A strange thing happened to me the other day. A customer whom I have known for several years dropped by with some seeds that he wanted me to start growing for him, a new and exciting tomato, anyway, towards the end of our conversation, I made a comment. I honestly have no idea what the comment was but my keen ears picked up the sound of my voice as if it were the first time I was hearing it, and it changed! MY VOICE CHANGED! It all of the sudden sounded--OLD!
It took me by horrified surprise. It was as if the world stopped and my mind sped up. I slipped into one of those mind conversations, you know, the type that only you and yourself are privy to.
"Was that me?"
"Yes that was you, who do you think it was?"
"It didn't sound like me!"
"It was you!"
"Maybe something got caught in my throat? What did we have for lunch today?"
"Nice try. You're old and it is about time you sound like it."
"No, you're not old, you're still young, why you practically leapt out if bed this morning!"
"Leapt? When was the last time you leapt........"
..... "Christina, Christina, about the seeds, what were you saying?"
I was forced back into reality but was only able to mumble something under my breath. He obviously had no idea of the crisis that I had just endured because he just thanked me and walked away.
It is amazing to me how my mind panicked in this small crisis and how quick it was able to jump from horror to horror. This was the workings of my mind for the rest of the day:
Your voice has changed
You're aging too rapidly!
You don't even have a husband yet!
Your poor barren womb!
You're going to die alone!!!!
VALENTINES DAY IS THIS WEEK!!!
Hold up! Get a grip! And what does Valentines Day and getting old have to do with each other? It is true that I may not be where my 18 year old self thought I would be--heck, I'm not even where my 30 year old self thought I would be. But the fact of the matter is, this is where I am and other than the change in my voice, I love where I am, I am happy here, and until something comes along that promises to make me happier, I should stop acting like I am being punished!
It is true, I am a lucky person. I belong to a rad family. I have friends that mean the world to me. I love my job and my plants, and my three cats make the perfect roommates. Life is good and it has been my experience that good generally leads to great. So I have greatness to look forward to. If I wanted to squander all that greatness, I could sit at home focusing on all the things I don't have and that greatness will never be achieved.
I know that there are a lot of people in the same boat as me. I see the passive aggressive things you say about life and love on your various social media tools. Most of their anger seems to stem from their single statuses. To them I ask, if you aren't happy now, how is including a spouse into your life going to make you happier? What would you even want a spouse for in your miserable state? They would only be there with you to help you commiserate! That doesn't sound like any fun. Life is hard enough at times without purposely being dragged into someone else's pity party. Besides, no one ever brings cake to those miserable parties!
So what is a person to do when they have found themselves getting old with changing voices and over active minds telling them that happiness is slipping away? I'm glad you asked! Here are my suggestions:
DANCE. Just turn on the radio to something with a beat and lose yourself for a few minutes. Never mind the neighbors. Mine are fully accustomed to my dance breaks and for the record, I think their faces tend to be more amazed at my awesomeness than appalled at my lack of rhythm and proper instruction.
CALL A GRANDPARENT. You don't have a grandparent? Call someone else's then!
GO OUTSIDE. Just go! Who cares about the weather, just go see something outside--take some bird seed with you.
PUT NEW SHEETS ON YOUR BED. Odd, I realize, but seriously, if your day didn't go as planned at least you have nice, crisp, fresh, clean sheets to jump into!
LEARN A NEW KNOCK KNOCK JOKE. After you have learned a few, try them out on your nieces and nephews. Don't have nieces and nephews? Try them out on someone else's.
TRY DRAWING AN ELEPHANT FROM MEMORY. Even if you can't draw. No peeking at any pictures either. This will make you laugh, guaranteed! I have found that no matter how many millions of images of elephants you have seen in your lifetime, when it comes to drawing one out on paper, all of the sudden you will have no idea where the trunk actually attaches.
Now I realize that I am no doctor and these things may not cure you. They have worked for me at one time or another though. If they don't work for you, make your own list! But for heavens sake, don't get stuck feeling bad about yourself and your life. And don't blame it on your singleness or Valentines Day! As I see it, Valentines Day is a day to tell all the people in your life that you love, just how much you love them! It doesn't have to be a lover or a spouse, it could be your mail man for pete sake! Spread your love and it will come back to you--ten fold!
As a final note, you will be happy to know that I have decided to take my voice changing experience in stride. I have added it to my first few wrinkles and my strands of sparkling silver hair. I have found that despite the change, I am still happy! Not to mention I can now hit every note to Wham's, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go."
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